Born
(2009/Lionsgate DVD)
Picture:
C- Sound: C Extras: D Feature: D
The demon
baby plotline is one of those trite fallback ideas that indie horror writers
just can’t seem to stay away from. It’s
not hard to understand why, pregnancy is a scary thing, even when the baby
isn’t the spawn of Satan, and with the prototypical Rosemary’s Baby, horror buffs all want to pay homage. Unfortunately the results absolutely always
end up as a travesty of cinema, and Born
is certainly no exception.
The premise
of Born is that the demon Asmodeus
(Kane Hodder) has made a deal with Satan that he gets to be human again if he
brings about the birth of a demon child that will usher in Hell on Earth. Therefore, Asmodeus impregnates his virgin
sister Mary Elizabeth (Alison Brie of Mad
Men and Community) who is forced
to kill and eat the hearts of her victims to sustain the demon growing inside
her.
Each
character has their own absurdities that keep them from being believable,
likeable, or at all engaging. The acting
is pretty terrible all around, but Hodder especially delivers his lines like a
stuntman (which he is) and Brie’s sequences in which she’s possessed by the
demon baby are entirely over-the-top and ridiculous. There’s a vaguely racist Hispanic albino, a
secret ops priest plagued by his ruthless past (complete with Vietnam
flashbacks), and a pair of twin women who serve no other purpose than to be
naked in the background from time to time.
The
picture, in 1.78:1 widescreen, is a bit rough looking and the CGI used for the
baby is horrendous. The audio, in either
Dolby Digital 5.1 or 2.0, is better.
Aside from just a hint of softness on the dialogue track there are no
obvious flaws, but the score and foley work are entirely uninspired.
The only
special feature on the disc is a Making-of featurette. It’s 25 minutes long and
divided into several chapters, each with its own horrible baby pun title. With the exception of sweeping epics and
intensely interesting art films though, 25 minutes is far too long for a
Making-of, and doubly so for a movie as terrible as Born.
There are
perhaps some laughs to be had at the expense of this film, but otherwise
there’s very little reason why you might enjoy Born. There’s not enough
nudity to call this schlock cinema, not enough violence to qualify as a gore
fest, and it only just borders on “so bad it’s good” territory. The bottom line is, Born is not even good enough to be enjoyed as a bad movie.
- Matthew Carrick
