Chandni Chowk To China (2009/Warner Bros.)

 

Picture: C     Sound: C-     Extras: D     Feature: D

 

 

It’s always tragic when a premise that sounds so promising turns out poorly. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Dracula’s wife fights a mummy (Blood Scarab), and now a Bollywood Kung Fu movie.

 

Chandni Chowk to China is trying to pull off a hybrid Indian/Chinese Kung Fu Bollywood-style musical, and it fails rather epically.  Granted, take any one of the dance scenes on its own and it looks great.  But overall, there isn’t enough kung fu or musical in this film to sustain a two and a half hour run time.  This movie should really only be an hour and a half.

 

The first hour is vaguely entertaining with cartoon-style physical comedy and the beginnings of plot threads that you’ve already put together, but the film itself obstinately refuses to resolve these threads until an hour and fifteen minutes later.

 

The picture quality is a tad soft and is presented in a 16:9 matted widescreen.  The audio, even softer, is in Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround.  The only audio option is Hindi and the only special feature on the disc is a few deleted scenes.  What’s even more odd is that while the film is divided into chapters that you can jump through, as is usual on a DVD, there is no chapter selection option in the menu.  At this point, a DVD not having a chapter selection menu is like a car not having a radio.  Okay, sure, you don’t need it, but you kind of take for granted that it’ll be there.

 

Honestly, the novelty of this film wears off within the first half hour.  After that, the only thing wearing is your patience.

 

 

-   Matthew Carrick