Cadillac Records (2008/Sony Blu-ray)

 

Picture: B     Sound: B     Extras: C-     Film: C-

 

 

There are many great stories to tell of American Music, especially in the rise of so many important, priceless record labels that redefined music for the world and that of The Chess Brothers and their amazing Chicago-based Soul label Chess Records that gave us Etta James, Bo Diddley, The Moonglows, Sonny Boy Williams, Muddy Waters, Chuck Berry, Little Walter, Fontella Bass and other groundbreaking acts that made American Music so vital to the world, are still ahead of their time as you read this and whose profound influence is so huge that Hip Hop/Rap would not exist without them.  With this in mind, how Darnell Martin made such a really, really bad, condescending and hacked-up piece of garbage as Cadillac Records (2008) out of such a landmark story is horrific beyond words and totally inexcusable!

 

For starters, the obnoxious, cliché-ridden screenplay by Martin eliminates one of the Chess Brothers, leaving Leonard Chess to be played by Adrian Brody as if this were a good idea.  Then the dumb hook (reportedly very untrue) is that Chess gave a brand new Cadillac to an artist when they had a big hit record.  Is he a record label founder or Bob Barker?  This is not even smart enough to be an unintentionally amusing fantasy version of the story and loosing a Chess brother is only the beginning.

 

Like a very bad TV movie, which is where this is heading in so many ways, it gets into the trap very quickly of name dropping, with names in and out of the label (like the goofy would-be visit by The Rolling Stones before they became popular) that makes them look like fools as much as you’ll feel like one as you watch this dreck.  This is what one does when they don’t want to dig deep into history and bring it alive the way you would get from a grittier filmmaker like a Martin Scorsese, Spike Lee or Sidney Lumet.  The look of the city (when we see it) feels as safe as an episode of 227 and never feels real.

 

Then of course, there is Beyoncé Knowles.  Following underrated work in Dreamgirls and appearances everywhere you would not expect to find her, as if she has switched from Diana Ross to Cher (must be that one-word name thing) as if she is the end of a non-sequester (e = MCBeyoncé?) has her cast as Etta James.  Though the film bombed, Beyoncé’s remake of James classic At Last (the original best known for being used in 1988’s Rain Man) was suddenly being played in place of the James hit, was even sung by the Beyoncé at Obama’s Inauguration and made the actual James mad.  Guess she saw this film too!

 

Beyoncé’s version of James is not the soul-rich James that made great albums like Tell Mama and often similarly sweet pop/soul cuts like At Last, but with her fake blonde hair and painted on eyebrows is not only a bizarre spoof of Miss James, but looks like Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in the infamous camp classic Mommie Dearest!  Did anybody really watch this film before it was released?

 

All the performances seem limited and constrained to the point that you never believe for a split second that these are the artists and persons who actually had the heart and soul to begin writing any of this music.  At times, I was so bored, I started to joke to myself that maybe Pat and Debbie Boone secretly swiped the original negative and had it recut as a joke akin to Pat Boone’s Heavy Metal album, but knowing them, that might have been a more amusing film!

 

And the voiceovers!  They kill the film over and over again, with not one word being believable and much worse than any cut of Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner I have ever seen.  The worst thing is that key Black History has once again been trashed and just to make the writing convenient.  Unless you like seeing a trainwreck, Universal Music has the Chess Records catalog.  Start there and listen to the real thing instead.

 

 

The 1080p 2.35 X 1 digital High Definition image is good, but not great, as the color is a little off in a way that looks unintended, trying to recreate a dated look only goes so far and there is some motion blur along with some faint general weakness.  I expected the Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mix to be livelier, even though this was not a Musical, but even in the music sequences where the mix should take off, it all still tends to be flat and towards the screen more than I would have liked.

 

Extras include BD Live interactive functions, deleted scenes, Playing Chess making of featurette, Once Upon A Blues: Cadillac Records By Design, feature length commentary by Director Martin and Blu-ray exclusive Chess Record Player that is interactive.  Unfortunately, they all tend to be undermined by the film.

 

 

-   Nicholas Sheffo