Gone The Way Of Flesh (2008/Cut N’ Run DVD)
Picture: D Sound: D Extras: D Feature: D
You know that scene
from the beginning of The Dark Knight
where the Batman imitators show up with guns and hockey pads? Well if you replaced Batman with George
Romero, Herschel Gordon Lewis, or any other horror or exploitation filmmaker
and you replaced the guy in hockey pads with the guys from The Jason Martinko
Revue, then you know where Gone the Way
of Flesh is coming from. The
conversation goes something like this, “Hey, I really admire that thing that
you spent years learning and training to do and have invested millions of
dollars in. I’m going to do it too with
absolutely no knowledge or experience, but I do have this stuff I found in my
mom’s basement.”
This movie was made by
the local Pittsburgh band The Jason Martinko Revue to promote themselves, and
from the moment the DVD menu hits the screen you can tell that this is going to
be a painful experience. The entire hour
of this movie (which feels like two hours) consists entirely of poorly executed
gore and nudity, which at times degenerates into straight-up pornography. Now, moral judgment aside, there’s nothing
wrong with that, but I would like my sex and violence to come with a side order
of something that at least smells like a plot.
Honestly, is it too much to ask that the detective find a clue at some
point in this movie? Or even just visit
a crime scene.
According to the
making-of documentary, “Sluts for the Slaughter”, which is itself an
excruciating 45 minutes and only ten minutes shorter than the actual movie,
Gone the Way of Flesh was shot on a variety of video cameras ranging from VHS
to digital 3-chip. Accordingly, the
quality of the full-screen picture ranges from bad to really bad to
craptacular. Similarly for the sound, I
would be surprised if the filmmakers ever bothered to use a microphone that
wasn’t already built in to the camera.
The rest of the special features include trailers, a radio interview,
and a half hour of concert footage from the band.
I would have to say
that the sum total of talent and filmmaking experience that went into this
movie barely exceeds that of a fifteen-year-old child. Well, if the kid knew a whole bunch of
strippers. If you’re looking for porn,
then for the love of God, go buy porn.
If you’re looking for a slasher flick, go support a filmmaker who at the
very least flunked out of film school.
Honestly, I can find absolutely no reason why anyone should ever see Gone the Way of Flesh.
- Matthew Carrick
