Anaconda 3 – Offspring + The
Devil’s Chair (Sony DVD)
Picture:
C+ Sound: C+ Extras: D Features: D
Two very
bad examples of two kinds of very bad would-be horror films that epitomize what
is wrong with such productions today: Anaconda
3 – Offspring is a highly unnecessary sequel to a sequel nobody really saw
and the fact you get David Hasselhoff with nothing better to do (no, he does not play the snake!) makes it a bore
beyond belief. Boy is this bad.
Also as
bad and in some way worse on some level is the latest torture porn exercise not
so cleverly disguised as a thriller. The Devil’s Chair has not so much a
plot but a series of bad edits of people screaming with blood all over them,
cuts on their body, pseudo-ominous music and various ways the potential victims
are tied down or bound. Using
old-looking metal gadgets is another part of the condescending formula, but
this cycle is running out of blood and never had any original ideas. The only intent is to do something like a
snuff film and it is a sick exercise for idiots with no point. It has also done more to kill real filmmaking
than anything I can think of since digital effects.
The
anamorphically enhanced 1.85 X 1 image looks lame in both cases for recent
productions, with unnecessary, corny image degrading that is as obnoxious and
overly soft as they are pointless. The
Dolby Digital 5.1 mixes are harsh, lame, substandard, badly mixed and
overpunctuated with phony sound effects that make them worse. There are no extras on Anaconda 3, but even worse, you get two extras on Chair.
One is a bad featurette and the other is an even worse audio
commentary.
- Nicholas Sheffo
