Scorched
Picture:
B Sound: B Extras: D Film: C-
Alicia
Silverstone did not stay on the A-list for long, but it was not because she was
not aggressive in wanting to work. Even
after the disaster that remains Joel Schumacher’s unfortunate Batman & Robin, she is out there
making films and Scorched (2003) is
her latest attempt at a comeback. Here,
she joins Rachel Leigh Cook and Woody Harrelson in a heist, the kind of “bad
girl” role she has done one too many of.
The
problem with this one is that is additionally wants to be an American version
of Guy Ritchie’s Scratch (2001), but
it far too tired and unoriginal to even think it is in that league. Every joke in Joe Wein’s screenplay is
flatter than the surrounding desert in the film. Even the twist of several parties planning to
rob the same back without knowing the other is up to the same thing. The problem is that all three parties seem
very responsible for their failures in life and you could care less what
happens to any of them. That the bank is
called Desert Savings Bank epitomizes the lack of creativity and generic nature
of the film, which is practically cable TV filler. That it later turned out that a division of
Blockbuster Video co-produced this mess explained everything.
Gavin Grazer
is not getting off to any kind of start as a director, but I have seen
worse. If he ever gets to direct again,
we can only hope he gets a better script.
Silverstone seems lost, Cooke was underused, Harrelson was
underdeveloped, and John Cleese cannot save this. Cleese is also wasted in this quick paycheck,
but it does bring up a vital point:
Cleese is a great comic actor, but just having Cleese show up is NOT
sufficient enough to make him funny or add to a film. He needs and deserves better material than
this. His few jokes are atypically
worthless.
The DVD
comes with an awful pan & scan version and a better, anamorphically
enhanced 1.85 X 1 image that is good enough, showing an image that demonstrates
it is a recent film. Often, newer films
are short-changed in their transfer, but this one fares better. The Dolby Digital Stereo is offered in 2.0
Pro Logic surround and a better 5.1 AC-3 mix.
It too demonstrates that it is a recent film production, but is nothing
spectacular. However, the mix has enough
moments of interest that DTS would have been a plus, except on the music, which
is awful and forgettable. That goes
especially for the bad MTV filler music.
Even The Eels’ “Fresh Feeling” does not work, and it is the only song
her that feels like a song. The only
extra is a trailer, so this is a very basic DVD.
After
finishing this, I felt scorched by
how bad the whole thing was. It is one
of those films where you wish it would get better, especially considering the
cast, but things just get worse, and worse, and worse, and worse.
- Nicholas Sheffo
