Teeth
(2007/Dimension Extreme DVD)
Picture:
C+ Sound: C Extras: B- Film:
C+
When you
enter a film anticipating something over the top and getting something that for
the majority of the film is very placid and calm, it’s inevitable that you’ll
be disappointed with the end result. Teeth is a film I’ve been
waiting for for a while, so when I finally got my hands on it I was damn
excited, but found myself underwhelmed with the end result.
Teeth tells the story of a girl who has
teeth in her vagina, also known as vagina dentata. She’s a good Christian
girl at first, but based on the premise of the film, you know that’s all going
to go away very shortly and she learns to use her super-womanhood to fight the
evil man oppressors, since clearly every man in the world is a sexual
predator.
Where the
film succeeds is in making this girl relatable and desirable despite her
origins as a super-Christian anti-sex good girl and transforming her into a
woman on a mission. Where the film fails, however, is largely in the
pacing of the film. It starts off rather slowly and is expected to do a
sudden turn-around into a world where all hell has broken loose and this set of
vagina dentata has begun wreaking havoc on unsuspecting men, but really nothing
all that extreme occurs and the end result is rather flaccid (no pun intended).
The
film’s transfer leaves something to be desired, failing to establish scenery
that could have been incredibly vivid and beautiful, but instead delivering a
picture that’s passable at best. I have no complaints with the sound, but
it doesn’t take any real wizardry to make a film sound good enough.
Extras are decent, but don’t add all that much to the release to boost a need
for this purchase. Save this for a rental because it’s worth a watch if
for no other reason than to see an interesting experiment into a really scary
subject for any guy out there.
- Jordan Paley
