Haunted Boat (2005/Lionsgate)
Picture:
C- Sound: C- Extras: D Feature: D
The idea
of haunted ships have returned in silly form with the Pirates Of The Carribean films and in more serious Horror outings
recently, even if this has not been noticed by most. Unfortunately, Olga Levens’ Haunted Boat (2005) is trying to be
serious and terrifying, but is a mess that is never suspenseful, coherent,
scary or watchable. The teens die one by
one, but the script was dead long before, the kind of writing that should have
been dumped long ago in The Dead Sea.
As for
looking deeply into any abyss and seeing one’s self, this is too abysmal and is
to be avoided at all costs. The few
films made like this are awful, but if you want to see one that works, try David
Twohy’s Below instead.
The
anamorphically enhanced 1.78 X 1 image is really, really bad with poor
everything about it. The larger your
screen, the worse it will look. The
Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 mixes are very, very weak and should not be played too
loud. There are no extras.
- Nicholas Sheffo
