The King Maker (2006)
Picture:
C+ Sound: B- Extras: D Film: D
Just when
I though Attack Of The Gryphon and Eragon might be the worst fantasy
features we’d seen in a while, Lek Kitaparaporn’s The King Maker is the ultimate checkmate of bad fantasy films, from
lame visuals, to pathetic acting from the Xena School of Drama to wasting John
Rhys Davies and our time. This
ridiculous work has unknown Gary Stretch as a Portuguese swashbuckler type out
for the money and in the middle of a potential war.
His
father has been killed, he is sold into slavery and is about to be framed for a
crime he did not commit. Of course it is
not coincidence, but no one is that smart in the film, than the King of Siam is
threatened. Fortunately, Yul Brynner was
not available. Then this just goes on
and on and on for 92 embarrassing minutes.
The
fighting was phony, script a catastrophe and like a traffic jam, you are so
happy when it’s over. This was more like
a car wreck.
The
anamorphically enhanced 1.85 X 1 image is often weak and has some of the
weakest digital effects we’ve seen in a while.
The ocean shot of two boats in the water looks incomplete as the digital
water the phony boats are in looks barely rendered as if the ships are floating
versus soaking. That says so much about
the weakness of the visual presentation.
The Dolby Digital 5.1 has some surrounds, but is nothing special. Don’t even ask about extras.
- Nicholas Sheffo
