Crazy Club Chicks V. 1 – Back From Rehab
Picture: C+
Sound: C Extras: D Main Program: C-
Two cycles of sexploitation and XXX production have risen
since videotape replaced film in the early 1980s as the way programs with the
most explicit, hardcore sexual content were made: the “amateur” cycle and the
“party” cycle. Only the “party” type of
production could hope to walk the thin line between hardcore and softcore, but Crazy
Club Chicks V. 1 – Back From Rehab (2004) tries to have it both ways.
It uses the usual digital blurring to cover up certain
aspects of sex acts and always of anything male, yet has more than enough
hardcore activity going for it to get a XXX or equivalent rating. Of course, it makes no sense, except in the
male cases because the design is to be as misogynistic as possible to appeal to
stupid young males who act like they never saw a nude woman or been with
one. That applies to millions of guys
who go around acting like this, even when they are sexually active to a fault. Any criticism is met with insults to anyone
who dares question this because a) they’re just having a good time, b) these
girls like being treated this way, c) shut-up or you’ll ruin a good thing and
d) the ever-popular “are you gay” or something. What a role model!
What prevents this from being a total disaster is the
money they put out for the occasionally recognizable Rap artist, the fact that
this is more clever in what it censors than even it realizes and tough-guy,
angry guy, hip-guy, ”cool dude”, exploiter/pimp Adam Barish will say and do
anything to get what he wants. He goes
out of his way to teach his supposed male-only audience to treat women like
garbage and that they are only good for one thing, which he demonstrates when
he is not getting thrown out of hotel, sponsored by Trojan (a company showing
corporate responsibility by preventing his recklessness from being worse) or
urinating on door knobs at hotels to show how hip he is. Nothing like anti-social behavior being the
new social behavior.
Of course, he did not invent this kind of programming, as
he is not that talented one bit. His
vague attempts to affiliate himself with Hip Hop are awkward and give N’ Sync
new credibility, but at least he does not sing or Rap. Some of these girls are undeniably sexy, but
even the most naturally erotic of them get reduced to mannequins in front of
the badly handled analog camcorders capturing the “action” throughout. What Barish has done is to try to emphasize
the “party” aspect as if the sex, drugs and other activities were somehow
incidental. Either he thinks he is a
genius, his audience is really stupid and/or very drunk, or any combination of
the above. That he is marketing it as
18+ party time material is the only reason we landed up with a copy.
The purpose of covering this title is to show why this
site does not deal with supposedly erotic material to begin with. It has been glutted for decades and nothing
new has happened. Sure, XXX material is
a multi-billion dollar industry, but it has no stars and with 50+ VDs and
several strains of AIDS, it has never been the same since the transition to
tape was joined by HIV. Even though
they are not as explicit, let’s be honest.
Between the classier Playboy series of DVDs and how much sex is available
in regular motion pictures, television and the Internet, what does this have to
really offer? Barish would just look in
the mirror to answer that one, because these girls are a dime-a-dozen money
machine to him. You can bet
"royalties" is a concept he feels only applies to him and the music
licensed. Even if you find the girls
sexy, when you finish watching this, he will be the furthest thing from “the
man” to anyone with a brain.
The full frame 1.33 x 1 image is analog NTSC videotape
that looks good enough or it would not have made this DVD, though the camera
operator(s) would have done a better job of capturing whatever worthwhile sex
moments one would want to see. No
wonder this has so much filler. The
Dolby Digital 2.0 is barely stereo and is often shockingly poor, especially in
a scene where Barish is hosting one of the Trojan stage events. Though he is talking into a microphone, and
properly at that, his voice is incredibly distorted. There are absolutely no extras, though with only an hour of
programming, there was plenty of room for more, but more of what? Maybe even Barish knows how to quit while
he’s ahead, but we doubt it. If the
shortness is so the audience will be anxious to get the next volume, he
shouldn’t hold his breath. Even the
Frat Boy crowd will likely move onto something better as this could not be much
worse and is more dime-a-dozen than the way he values the girls who fell pray
to his antiquated camcorder(s). It is
very boring and too tired and played out to hope to be as shocking or offensive
as it thinks it is. I guess rehab
failed. Maybe snuff films are next.
- Nicholas Sheffo
