Valley
Of The Cycle Sluts (1992/MVD
Visual DVD)
Picture:
B- Sound: B- Extras: D Film: D
Produced
in 1992 and somehow just now finding its way onto disc, Valley of
the Cycle Sluts fails in so many ways... it fails as a porno, it
fails as a film, and certainly fails at casting people who can act.
This is no Russ Meyer
production, this is just plain terrible. The synopsis is paper thin:
a tough-looking motorcycle riding ex-cop that ends up in the wrong
place at the wrong time, and gets kidnapped by a group of
biker-chicks code-named 'The Sisters of Mercy' that are after one
thing and one thing only - revenge. Why this cop you ask? Well, for
starters, he busted their boyfriends and put them behind bars,
leaving them with unfulfilled sex lives.
How
evil can these women be? Well for starters, they tie him up and
strip in front of him... the first one to get him aroused gets to
kill him! How despicable. What this film needed was more
grindhouse-style humor and maybe some more over the top puns to make
it more than what it is.
Presented
in standard definition 1.78 X 1 and a lossy Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo
track with no bonus features, this film is meant for one thing and
one thing only and we won't play coy at what that 'something' is. If
that's what you're looking for... you can do better than this.
-
James Harland Lockhart V
www.facebook.com/jhl5films
