Poseidon Rex (2013/Anderson DVD)

Picture: B- Sound: B- Extras: D Film: D

Half Dinosaur! Half Monster! All Trouble! - this is the tagline for the new film Poseidon Rex. From the creators of Pterodactyl and Sandsharks and from Director Mark L. Lester - the director of Commando and Firestarter, this film is so wretched it is just as bad as it sounds. Borrowing heavily from better films like Piranha and Jaws, this film is purely mindless brain numbing badness - good for late-night viewing with a room full of friends and not to be taken in any conceivable way as intellectual viewing.

A small, secluded island off the coast of Belize suddenly finds itself terrorized by a deadly predator from the planet's distant past, when deep-sea divers accidentally awaken an ancient evil. Jackson Slate and his team of underwater cave explorers unearth much more than long-lost Mayan treasure while plumbing the depths of a world famous blue hole. They disturb a creature that's been hibernating for over 60,000 years - the Poseidon Rex - that can devour humans on both land and sea. The creature resembles a T-Rex with a fin on the back and the moments with him are the best in the movie. The acting is textbook bad and the special effects and filmmaking in general feels rushed.

I understand that the filmmakers were working with a limited budget, but I feel like the biggest problem is how much they show the monster. The element of what you don't see is what makes a film scary. Look at Jaws and even the new version of Godzilla where you barely see the creature until the end of the film. That is how you effectively create suspense. There is also no nudity in this film (which let's face it considering the subject matter and all the hot babes they cast would have made people want to watch more) and the blood and gore is nearly non-existent. Look at the Piranha films, where they knew that they had a cheesy concept but they went so over the top with it that it worked. This B movie is a D- movie.

There is no real motive to Poseidon Rex in this film, he just chases after the main characters when they dumbly fire automatic weapons with infinite ammo at him and barely hurt him at all. Why is he choosing to chase only our main characters when he has a whole island resort of tourists to feed on? Does he ever get full? How has he hibernated for 60,000 years and not eaten anything? I could go on and on but I'll simply say - if you are a fan of Syfy Channel films and aren't looking for anything practical and intellectual then this may be the film for you.

The DVD has a standard 1.78:1 aspect ratio and a standard Dolby Digital 5.1 track - nothing to really write home about.

Extras include a Behind the Scenes Featurette and a Trailer.

- James Harland Lockhart V

www.vimeo.com/jamielockhart