Skate Maps
(2 DVDs/4 Volumes)
Picture: D
Sound: D Extras: C Programs: D
Not one
to lament the golden age of television, but I do hope our fascination with
reality television is coming to a quick end; otherwise, this unchecked reality
television phenomenon will result in more programs like Skate Maps. Regardless of
the reasons as to why we are witnessing a proliferation of reality television,
it seems everyone with a camera seeks to cash in on this craze, adhering to a
narcissistic assumption that others wish to watch. Naturally, there does exist a niche market
that would appreciate the theatrics of skateboarding, but even the generation
of X-gamers desires a semblance of coherence in their entertainment. Whereas the inventiveness of other reality
programs lies in a particular hook, whether it is the manufacturing, and
excessive editing, of conflict (The Real
World) or the performing of extreme stunts and practical jokes (Jackass), Skate Maps, in attempt to model these formulas, strives to be both,
but ends up taking a gnarly spill.
Skate Maps follows the seven-members of the
Zoo York skate team as they go on their annual tour of Europe.
Ranging in age from 15 to 30+, the rebellious teens travel from Cologne
and Munich, Germany to Prague, Czech Republic and skate different historic
landmarks and participate in various skating competitions (at least through the
first four episodes). As we follow the
members of the Zoo York team, I could not help but understand some reasons why
American tourists incur the ire of those abroad. Certainly, skating these national treasures
has some cache, but I am not certain they know why (I guess I like my impudence
with a little more consideration).
The
camera tracks the skaters as they perform wicked alis and radical rail slides
during the day and try to pick up “bitchin’ hot” foreign chicks at night. I realize this seems like a rant from a
conservative tightwad who crushes the rebellious spirit of today’s youth because he does not “get it.” But, unfortunately, I believe I do (yes, I
know skateboarding is not a crime).
Indeed the history of skateboarding demonstrates that this
counter-cultural sport was the product of a sophisticated insurgency (the
wonderful documentary, Dogtown and the
Z-Boys, is a worthwhile effort that really captures the cheeky insolence of
skateboarding). Yet, as members of the
Zoo York team compare their lists of sponsors and bemoan the limits of their
per diem in the middle of an all-expense paid trip to Europe, one losses the sense of
rebellion, only to replace it with unintended irony. For example, as tour manager Jeff Pang
introduces the team and identifies himself as the legal guardian for one of the
younger skaters, someone off camera hands him a beer. Such timing, in the hands of any others, may
have been a clever moment of self-reflection, but I am uncertain they possess
the deliberation necessary to separate an ironic gesture from an unintended
self-effacement. Likewise, skater
Forrest Kirby, in an effort to find the future “Mrs. Kirby,” roams the streets
of Munich and hits on reluctant young
ladies. With impish sincerity, he drops such infallible lines like, “I am
appalled by your beauty.” Such a
statement uttered to non-English speakers could indeed be funny if we were
convinced he actual knew what “appalled” meant.
But, yet again their buffoonery leads us to laugh at them, and not with
them.
Although
my cynicism runs deep for commodified rebellion, the real problem with the
program is that nothing happens. There
really is no narrative to anchor viewer.
Even with a screaming announcer that reminds us of what happened in the
last installment, Skate Maps fails
to develop any cohesion to the story.
While reality shows are slave to what actually happened, a decent editor
would at least be able construct the dramas that unfolded during the trip. It was also a disappointment when it comes to
its true appeal, the skating itself. I
am certain these guys are very talented skaters, but the cameraman/editor does
little to capture the X-Games-like impressiveness of their stunts and crashes;
most of that is relegated to a special feature.
Even hip, MTV style filming and constant use of fish-eye lenses could do
little to save it, all shot on amateur NTSC video.
All told,
these two discs from Koch Vision, which include Episodes 1-4 in Season 1,
provides scant features like extended scenes, “earthshaking wipeouts,” and
truncated cast interviews. Because of
the low production values, the image itself is often grainy and unprofessional,
and the Dolby Digital 2.0 sound often fades in and out, which is clearly a
problem with the source material and not the disc. It is barely stereo when it does work.
If you do
enjoy the pursuits of skating, then, please ignore me and check out Skate Maps for yourself; you might
relish the corporatized underground that is modern skating. However, if you are
one to appreciate the deeper, sociological dimensions of the skating culture,
or just enjoy the amazing stunts ala X-Games, be prepared for disappointment;
the kind of disillusionment that probably lead to movement in the first place.
- Ron Von Burg
